Monday, August 8, 2011

Summer of the coon

If you like raccoons do not read this post....

2 weeks ago we found raccoons living in our crawl space beneath our house. How did we find this out? We saw them in our vents! (WARNING - DREW IS NOW TELLING THE STORY - SLIGHT EMBELLISHMENTS WILL OCCUR) It was Saturday morning, I (Drew) was in the bathroom, perfectly positioned on the commode. I heard a noise, I saw a nose, then two eyes looking up at me through the vent cover. I screamed, not because I saw a raccoon but because I felt violated. I quickly pulled up my pants and called the critter what it was - a pervert. To make a very long story short... I checked out the crawl space and found traces of raccoon poop and shredded insulation all over. I found the peeping tom hiding in a corner, approached quickly, performed a Samoan war chant, and broke his neck Jackie Chan style. Okay, okay, I ran inside, went and bought a cage, and caught the sucker three days later.

Now this is where it gets interesting. Our friend Ramsey (prefers "Ramses" said in a spanish accent) came over to take care of the raccoon. Spoiler alert - he takes the raccoon away and shoots it - so hard! Well, Ramses and his dental school cohorts disposed of #1 but when they came back they found another one in the trash can. So for the next 1.5 hours the guys tried to figure out a way to get the raccoon out of the trash so they could kill it. It was hilarious- raccoons are feisty and extremely loud when they feel threatened. (Things to notice in the picture - (1) Shawn's face, the trash smelled real bad; (2) Ramses wielding a tee-ball bat; (3) the heads of my curious sons; (4) Shawn's use of a make-shift snare made of a broom handle and yarn; and (5) my absence, I was outside but I was 20 feet away with a gun (a nerf gun) making statements like "fellas, can you hurry up?! the mosquitos are really bothering me.")Don't worry though, we caught #2 and humanely took care of him. (Mac and Gray were removed from the window for that part). On Saturday night, #3 found her way into the cage and met a similar fate. The trap is back in the crawl space waiting for #4.

The best news about the whole thing is that after several days of having some issues, I can now peacefully enjoy my morning routine again.

8 comments:

Jessica said...

Love the Narrative :)

Eric and Jenny said...

Oh this was hilarious! Glad you caught those pervert raccoon's!

Rita said...

You and your friends are certainly brave, strong and true! Now about that coonskin cap, I can sew one up if you can skin it...

Angela said...

Ew, Ew, and Ew...but WAY funny :)

Amberlin Gefrom said...

Oh my gosh that story was hilarious! Love it!

Roo said...

I read your story out loud to Ryan and we were laughing through the whole thing. Well done with the coons. Nothing like getting disturbed with your morning biz-nez, you feel unfinised all day.

Jacklyn said...

Wow who is the hottie weilding the nerf bat, I think I'll catch some coons just so he can come and kill them for me. Glad that the edwards fam can be of service to you

Karrissa Winward said...

Oh my gosh! So funny!!