Miscarriage

I've debated posting this here on the blog but I feel like I want this in our family book. 

Drew and I have been trying to have a baby since June of 2012. After 9 months of no luck we both had test done and everything looked fine- nothing wrong. I remember last August being a super hard month. I so desperately wanted a baby and had always thought I would have a spring baby and finding out yet again we weren't pregnant was hard. After more priesthood blessings, I was reminded that we would have a baby in the near future, and God was aware of our situation.  Well, in September we got good news. We were pregnant, we would have a baby around may 7! I needed this. A week later i started feeling sick and man was I happy! I usually don't enjoy this time but the year of wanting, made me excited for all the things pregnancy brings. 

As the weeks went on I noticed some spotting. Around 9 weeks, it got worse but I wasn't too worried, this isn't abnormal for me. When we went to our 10 week appointment things didn't look so good. The ultrasound found that the baby did have a heart beat but was only measuring at 6 weeks. The doctor said I must have my dates wrong or it wasnt developing right but to come back the next week and see if the baby had grown. I knew right then we would miscarry. It was just like my first miscarriage. I was devastated. Logically I knew this was part of life and the baby wasn't developing right and it's better to loose it now than later. But non of that was comforting. 

A couple of friends knew I was pregnant out here. They all checked in on me to see how the appointment went. I'm blessed with good friends that stepped in and comforted me and cried with me. When drew got home from work, I asked for another blessing. The blessing confirmed my feelings and we both knew we would miscarry. My parents came into town that night. We took the week slow and I ended up miscarrying  Friday night October 11. 

It was a blessing that my parents were there. The kids never knew anything was wrong. They took care of them and kept me positive and out of the "sorry for myself" funk. The next couple of weeks were hard. I would think I was fine and then totally loose it and cry myself to sleep. Once the hormones leveled off I was better. 

Things like this are hard to go through but the comfort and love I felt going through it brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and I'm grateful for that.